Seduction Community and Pickup Artists

On Feminist Critics, we often ourselves talking about the relationship between feminism and the seduction community:

• What is the Seduction Community?
• The Assumptions of the Seduction Community begins explaining where pickup artists are coming from.
• The Seduction Community, and Throwing Out the Baby acknowledges that there are some problems with the seduction community, but questions throwing out the whole thing.
• Pickup and Seduction Techniques for Feminists explores some ideas in the seduction community that feminists might like.
• Defending Pickup and Seduction Techniques for Feminists explores some of the ethical questions about pickup

There are a lot of problems with the seduction community that feminists correctly observe, including misogyny, cynicism towards relationships, and a few tactics that are bad for consent. In other cases, feminist critiques of pickup artists (PUAs) in the seduction community are premature, misguided, or unfair; these criticisms show more about feminist biases and blindspots than they show about pickup artists. The seduction community reveals systematic male disadvantage in the mating arena; the existence of so many men who are “have-nots” in romance and social skills is difficult to reconcile with feminist notions of “male privilege,” and the supposed non-existence of male oppression.

There are many values that PUAs and feminists would agree on if they understood each other’s views better. Just as there are many techniques and concepts in pickup that are negative from the standpoint of feminist values, there are many techniques and concepts that potentially achieve feminist values more effectively than practically any other source of advice to men in our culture. Actually, there are some ideas that both PUAs and feminists seem to agree on that we consider problematic, such as gynocentrism (exemplified by the tendency of some feminists to go beyond merely focusing on women, and marginalize men).

Feminists tend to criticize male sexual behavior and only explain what not to do. PUAs are exploring what to do. If feminists want to guide the expression of male sexuality in ways other than shouting “don’ts” from the peanut gallery, then they would do well to study the teachings of the seduction community, take from it what they like, and throw away the rest. Despite its flaws, the seduction community has the highest concentration of advice for consensual and mutual sexuality that exists in our culture and actually works, particularly for people who are average or below in social skills.